love (?)

Hey, I'm not falling love with someone anyway. Hahaha.

Ok, ini efek nonton film Nick and Norah dimalam hari ketika gak punya pacar atau orang yang disukai atau orang yang menyukai. Sejujurnya, gue agak lupa gimana rasanya pas bener-bener suka sama orang. My last ex? Just forget him. Don't you think it just too suck to have a relationship to someone in far far away? I just meet him 3times. 3times in 1,5years! We never have a physical stuff or something. Hahaha. Hey, I'm normal girl and I have kissed and blablablabla with another guy but I'm not a bitch at all. I just think how can I totally forget to love someone again? I'm single for 6months. I don't have a benefit friend. I don't have someone who I like (except that footballers or actors). I never dress my self well. I leave my usual sport (jogging, badminton, or tennis) it make my body so BIG. I eat what I want to eat. I drink what I want to dri(u)nk. I watch movie with my friends. I go to mall with my friends too. I spend my time by tweeting, watching football, dvd, or read some news. I cut my hair to short. I never start my self to close to someone.

I'm not a lesbian. I'm totally straight. And you know what, kadang gue juga agak iri dengan pasangan yang ber-lovely dovey di twitter, gandengan di mall, dan sejenisnya. But I can't. Just have a silly traumatic. Mungkin gue selalu kepikiran: kalau pun gue punya pacar yang satu kota, gue bakalan ribut gak penting yang ujungnya gue migrain atau nangis menjijikan. Kalau pun gue punya pacar yang nan jauh disana, gue bakalan emosi setengah hidup dengan sinyal provider handphone gue atau gue juga bakalan nggak mau juga punya pacar yang cuma bisa didenger suaranya dan dibaca smsnya.

Jadi ingin berandai-andai. Seandainya gue bisa milih cowok buat dijadiin pacar, mungkin gue akan pengen cowok yang nyambung diajak ngomongin tentang bola (iya gue suka nonton bola dan ngikutin beritanya. Gak salah kan), bersikap natural gak dibuatbuat kalo sakit kalo kangen kalo ngomong, has a good joke, has a great sense of music, has a same favorite movie with me or at least great favorite movie. Dan jujur, gue muak dengan drama yang dibuatbuat untuk kehidupan. Is that too much? Hahaha.

One of my sista said: "there's only 4 type of man in the world. Nerd, jerk, gay, useless". I think I prefer to see jerk and never have a real fall with them. Maybe I'll finish my fuckin college than I search my lost prince to send him Maximus Prime or something. But if we have comfort zone, I know it will be hard to leave it, no one can blame it. And I feel comfort with this condition. Just myself, a flat day, campus, friends, hangout, beer or wine sometimes, film, music, football, gadget, twitter. Or maybe I just not ready to face another life. But I miss to fall.

"We did it, and you're great. That's what I want and what you want too."